I'm Your Sunshine

Everything in Life

It’s Not Ending, It’s Just Begun

When we are thinking about something important in our life. Have you ever realize that one word whisper to us? It will end. Sooner.
But when we stand at the finished line, then we realize that’s not the end of the race. That’s a new beginning.
Ya… when we finished our responsibility or study or our relationship with our girlfriend or boyfriend.
That’s not the end.
That’s a new beginning, we have to work then, we have another responsibility and.. of course new fate
Our girlfriend or boyfriend can be our future wife or husband
Or they can be our past and we can’t look back
We can’t use the time machine cause that never worth it
Just remember everything in our life are never have an ending
When we think and feel that’s the end, you have to take a breath and tell yourself..
A new beginning is waiting for you in your better future
Maybe not now, but there’s always a new beginning
just be faithful and be grateful
God have the best plan for us.

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Never Too Late

This video make me think that nothing too late and nothing impossible of course with God.

This is the one inspiring speech and you can see on Youtube.

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Save The Best for The Last

My Dearest,

I want say this…
I’m afraid this will disturb you
then you are gone.

Please don’t ignore me.
I’m just trying to be honest about what I feel, before it’s too late.

I’m to much talking and writing.
I’m too excited when chating with you
but I want to be a good listener for you too.

Maybe you will say I’m crazy
and you think I’m not logic
but I don’t like to much drama.

Love is not logical thing.
Love doesn’t need a reason and explain why.

I like you and falling for you
yeah… before we met face to face


Maybe you think it’s not possible thing,
like or love someone who I never met before.
Separated by a long long distance.

Sorry, you’re totally wrong.

I always think and told about you to God
and I said your name
day by day on my pray.

I also pray that I will be prepared and propered to always be by your side.

We have been met.
Yes… in my pray and on my wishlist to God.
Day and night…
so we’re very close in prayer.

I want to be your bestfriend.
No, I want more than bestfriend.
I really want to be your future
and your home…

Like my wish, you’re become my future and my home.

I hope you feel the same
I don’t want force you.

Let’s enjoy the process

and if you don’t feel the same
not even interested at all,
or you decided to be with someone else..

that’s maybe hurt me… but it’s okay.
I can handle it
and I hope you can be my bestfriend.

I just want you to know about my feelings,
and try to be honest with my own feelings.

If you have the same feeling for me….
and start having deeper feelings for me.
Let me know because I’m waiting for that.

Praise The Lord. Thanks to God!

Let’s move step by step
cause you always exist on my pray to God.

Please, Save The Best for The Last.

It’s you, my dear….

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What will you do if everything around you become rude?
Day after day people messing your life
They just come when their need you
They are gone when you live on the bottom place, no money, no things you have
You only can say “What should I do?”
Be a survival
Yes, you have to be survive
Everyone will gone
Everything will disappeared
In the end you are standing alone
Maybe in the corner, in back stage, sit on the bottom place, or
Standing in front of and upside people who leave you alone when you are nothing
Just survive
Everything gonna be okay
And always gonna be okay

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Maturity is Not About Number, It’s About Perspective

When you put your photo on your Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and all of your social media account maybe some people said about how is your look…

Ever you hear about this ?

“Is that you on the picture? You look younger than your age! That’s awesome!”


“How can you look younger than your age? That’s a gift for you”

And many other…

Yes… everyone have own standart about maturity. Perspective about how the people is mature or not.

Have you ever met someone looks childish when he/ she was 73 years old?

That’s not imagine. That’s possible thing happen in this world.

You can said someone who can walking alone in the dark is have good maturity. But someone else can said that’s because he/ she just walking around in him/ her neighborhood , that’s not maturity but habit.

The question is how we can be mature and have good maturity in right perspective?

You can be mature when you can smile at your big big problem you had in the past..

You feel mature when someone can touch your soul and you can do the same so you can share your passion.

Let’s say you are mature because you can make someone else growth up and be mature in the right perspective.

It’s difficult thing to explain how can mature if you don’t feel mature enough. Maybe, it’s just oir perseption if we feel not mature enough.

When we can dicided what is good or better for ourlife and we made right decision about some thing. Sometimes it made we feel more mature than we think before.

Mature it’s not about how is your face or look in front of the other.

I guess it’s about your knowledge, attitude, inner beauty, mindset, emphaty, ability and many others.

It’s about stability between body and soul. Harmony between passion and ability.

When you can meet someone made you honest about who you are. Maybe it can made you more mature. Because every change starting from openness and honesty.

Be honest to yourself. It can help you to be mature than before. Just be yourself, love yourself and accept yourself.

You should finding someone who can your trust and trust you to.

Mature it’s about share together not just about take and give.

How do you think?

Are you mature enough or try to be mature than before?

What is mature in your perspective and perseption?

Share it maybe you can help other people who want to be mature.

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Hello dear…
Rasanya sudah begitu lama tidak menari diatas huruf-huruf yang berbaris rapi ini..
Hehe… sah-sah saja rasanya kalau saya agak sedikit.. ehemm… mendramatisasi kembalinya saya ke dunia orat oret yang entah apa tujuannya.

Boleh kan ya saya curhat sebelum melanjutkan dengan tulisan-tulisan berikutnya di posting yang coming soon… (ok bahasa semakin kacau.. :P)

Jadi ceritanya beberapa malam yang lalu saya tidak tidur, alih-alih tidur beberapa jam, tapi rasanya seperti tidak tidur. Iya, jujur saja saya ini penggila tidur. Saat dilanda mengantuk dan lapar saya akan memilih tidur.. Semoga tidak membuat bingung ya.. Alhasil, bangunlah dengan perut nuansa musik keroncong..

Dan ini agak berkepanjangan, beberapa hari ini agak sulit tidur di malam hari..ya mari kita nikmati saja. Positifnya, saya bisa menulis lagi disini, entah penting atau tidak. 😀

Saya ingin membuat sebauh cerita pendek yang belakangan terlintas di benak.. Orang tua bilang kalau kamu memikirkan sesuatu hal yang sama selama beberapa hari. Artinya itu kemungkinan hal yang cukup penting. Berangkat dari petuah nenek moyang itu, saya memutuskan tidak jadi tidur dan berselimut malam ini. Ya, karena ada sesuatu, sebut saja pikiran-pikiran yang mengganggu dan harus segera diselesaikan.

Saya akan memulai pada bagian selanjutnya dari postingan saya,,, bukan disini

Anggap saja ini hanya sebuah prolog. Ya, seperti di film-film. Ini hanya fiktif belaka, cerita, adegan, alur, tokoh dan semua yang ada dalam cerita hanya rekaan belaka. Sama sekali tidak ada hubungannya dengan kehidupan nyata.

Let’s check it out!

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Yes I Am or Was??

Image result for self injury

Google Image

Hi.. Hello..!!!
It’s wonderful sky for tonight, ya.. I guess
Nice to know about all of you..
And this is the best experience to write some thing here… about me
about my past… my experience … about bla.. bla.. bla…
First thing, Let me introduce myself ..
With pleasure…. here I am and I was…

I’m not a little girl anymore.. I think I’m woman for now or anything else except baby or a man because my gender is female.. LOL
I’m 29th years old
I’m from Indonesia.. and a lot of people didn’t know about my country but nope
I’m single happy because I’m not married, hmmm… not yet 😀
and God have Someone to be my future husband..
It’s all about me and my past experience..
The story begun… when I know what is Sex, Love and Dating…
I live far away from my parents, from my family.. well maybe I’m alone and I met a guy to filled my loneliness… and you know how the story is… I lost my virginity
I was made such a fool stuff…
I still remember what I did in my small room…
I was hurt and frustrated.. I felt messy, dirty, impure..
Yeaa… something like that..

I always take something to cut or scratch or hit my body.. the most like is my hands
I can felt the name of peace and relax…
I can hit a wall , cut my hair myself
I always did something like that when I’m angry or sad..
I like red and I like blood… when scratch my hand, I just need a few minute to be calm
That was amazing.. but now, that make me thinking out loud and say “WHY ?”
Maybe anyone can say that I was crazy.. haha
maybe but someday I know something about this
Self Injury Disorder, Self Harm , Self Abuse or anything else…
Yes oh no… OMG I had a mental illness…

If someone make me angry, sad, frustrated… till know I always want to doing something like that again.. again… and again…

I try to stop it.
My parents, my family … they don’t know anything about this
But when someone or guy like me and I like him, I always tell him all about my past and my habit…
but anyone can not help me… just me
When some article said , someone who loves you and always support you, you can healed.. hmmm.. I don’t think so..
I guess there is no man who can stand with my illness…
Because it is just make they hurt to when they know about my habit when despondent,enraged or frustrated or very hurt…

But know I against my illness alone… haha
I tried to fight with myself..
Everyone … all of you.. you have to do this too..
Stand alone with your own shoes..
Yes I Was…
Yes I Am…
Yes I Have A Self Injury Disorder Disease…
And know everyone who read my blog know about my disease…
I hope this is good for a lot of people…

With Love…
Keep Struggle!!!

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Sang Kaya Penguasa

Gelimang harta itu, apa benar bukan hasil menginjak hak orang lain?
Kilau emas dan permata bisakah kau sisihkan sedikit saja untuk si miskin tak berpengharapan?
Ah.. ini hanya sebuah kalimat pertanyaan yang hanya perlu satu jawaban saja.
Seperti biasa, bukankah sandiwara telah menjadi bagian yang paing kalian sukai.
Hanya perlu Ya atau Tidak.
Tolong jangan beri silat lidah filosofi atau pun status di belakang namamu.
Semua orang tahu, aku tahu.. siapa yang tidak tahu dengan gelimang harta yang selalu tampak kemilau menutupi busuknya tanah yang hampir tiap hari kau injak.

Senyum palsu pada kaum rendah
Kami hanya keledai dungu diujung sungging senyummu
Iyah,, ini salah satu bentuk kekesalan karena bentuk penghakiman sebelah pihak yang memang seringkali dilakukan semua orang
Bukan hanya si kaya tapi juga si miskin
Berhak kah kita mengungkapkan pendapat sepihak kita tentang orang lain yang hanya sepintas lalu
Karena nila setitik rusak susu sebelanga
Tak pernah bisa seserius ini ketika amarah sebenarnya sudah dipuncak mendidih di kepala
Harga diri yang terluka
Tak pernah mencaci sesantun ini karena dikatai orang yang merasa berhak berkata hanya karena mengisi periuk nasi di awal bulan purnama

Ini pertama kali juga menulis sampah setelah sekian lama
tak terlalu penting sebenarnya
Lalu apa kabar dengan si kaya penguasa yang merajai judul besar tulisan ini?
Kita sama-sama akan menjadi abu
Siapa pun itu status dan jabatan mu detik ini pun bisa sama- sama menjadi abu
Jadi jangan percaya pada si kaya penguasa, karena

“….. masing – masing kita adalah penguasa dari diri kita sendiri “



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