I'm Your Sunshine

Everything in Life

Pretending to be Happy

Everything is mess
Maybe you are the one and only
Who never know what is happy
How to laugh even smile
Are you feel useless
In the bottom of your sociality
Nevermind
Yeah.. seriously!!
Nevermind
Nevermind the one way pretending to be happy
Forget about your past
Forget about your future
Just life for today
Forget about surrounding in your life
Forget about everything
Just to be happy
Is that difficult or easy?
Depend on you
Common…
this life is too short for the sadness
Just pretending to be happy!

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Philosophy of Spruce Tree

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Holla… 😀

Do you know spruce trees?

Maybe sometimes we called it pine or fir tree.
For me it have the same thing.

It’s a Christmas tree.. yaa… commonly
I love Christmas because I can see the beautiful Christmas tree..that’s spruce tree.

We can see these trees in every season

It exist in summer and also in winter…
and the special thing is.

They always green

Can we be like this tree?

Struggle in every season in our life.
in a cold, hot, winter, storm, intenseness, overflow..

Still beautiful in every condition.

When we in under pressure
Failed
Broken heart
Feel useless
Poorness
Lose everything in our life

Can we stay still stand on?

Spread the freshness of the green we have.
Spread the love in our heart

Can we?

Life be like one Spruce Tree.

Stay refreshing and give beauty and even happiness for around even when we’re not in good condition and everything around us is a mess.

We must try to be like spruce tree.

Yes.. We must…

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Controlling Uncontrolled

We met in the past
Would you remembered how we met and started to talk
Can we controlled the past, stopped the time so we didn’t need to know each other
No… We can not
When you close your eyes and imagine it’s only dream it can hurt you more and more
again and again
we have to met and shared something, ya… some thing
This is our fate
Maybe we only met on our imagine
Ah.. no, only my imagine
We can’t controlled this
Yes, we can’t control who will come and leave us
but… practically we can controling uncontrolled things.
How? and What we can controlling?
The answer is…
Our mind and feeling
You can be died people if needed
You don’t want losing something important in your life
Just let it go
Let it go then Let God
Calm down.. everything is under controlled
yeah.. in God controlled
that’s it
Let God take the thing which can’t controlled
God always can controlling uncontrolled better than your effort.

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Save The Best for The Last

My Dearest,

I want say this…
I’m afraid this will disturb you
then you are gone.

Please don’t ignore me.
I’m just trying to be honest about what I feel, before it’s too late.

I’m to much talking and writing.
I’m too excited when chating with you
but I want to be a good listener for you too.

Maybe you will say I’m crazy
and you think I’m not logic
but I don’t like to much drama.

Love is not logical thing.
Love doesn’t need a reason and explain why.

I like you and falling for you
yeah… before we met face to face

but

Maybe you think it’s not possible thing,
like or love someone who I never met before.
Separated by a long long distance.

Sorry, you’re totally wrong.

I always think and told about you to God
and I said your name
day by day on my pray.

I also pray that I will be prepared and propered to always be by your side.

We have been met.
Yes… in my pray and on my wishlist to God.
Day and night…
so we’re very close in prayer.

I want to be your bestfriend.
No, I want more than bestfriend.
I really want to be your future
and your home…

Like my wish, you’re become my future and my home.

I hope you feel the same
but
I don’t want force you.

Let’s enjoy the process

and if you don’t feel the same
not even interested at all,
or you decided to be with someone else..

that’s maybe hurt me… but it’s okay.
I can handle it
and I hope you can be my bestfriend.

I just want you to know about my feelings,
and try to be honest with my own feelings.

If you have the same feeling for me….
and start having deeper feelings for me.
Let me know because I’m waiting for that.

Praise The Lord. Thanks to God!

Let’s move step by step
cause you always exist on my pray to God.

Please, Save The Best for The Last.

It’s you, my dear….

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Surrender

It’s to hard and impossible to handle
I can’t breath and feel the wind blowing
My heart stop for a while
My brain was overthought
What should I do?
Should I stay here forever, with the mess things
I hate this situation
Everything I do is feel bad and wrong
I’m feeling useless
This is eat my bones little by little
Only surrender
The last change in my life
I feel this is my last time in this place
I believe something good will happen when I’m surrender
Please be nice to me
Problem just come and go
If I can surrender with all my heart
I can endure it with a good way

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Survive

What will you do if everything around you become rude?
Day after day people messing your life
They just come when their need you
They are gone when you live on the bottom place, no money, no things you have
You only can say “What should I do?”
Be a survival
Yes, you have to be survive
Everyone will gone
Everything will disappeared
In the end you are standing alone
Maybe in the corner, in back stage, sit on the bottom place, or
Standing in front of and upside people who leave you alone when you are nothing
Just survive
Everything gonna be okay
And always gonna be okay

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For Someone Who Loved My Curly Hair

Dear Someone there,

Thanks for loving my curly hair. Maybe it’s too late to say thank you. I’m full of gratefulness when God decided us to know each other. I love my curly hair deeper than before when I know someone like you. I believe in fate and everything happen not by coincidence. Everything happen for a reason. And you are the reason make me happier more and more.

Sorry for my mistake and my attitude then make you uncomfortable.

I miss someone who loved my curly hair. This is amazing grace for me because it can make you smile and happy when you looking my hair. I always remember the way you smile and the way you look at me. Although that’s only from far, from video call and picture… I was imagine how you react if we can meet in a real life. You really make me happy and I’m not realizing this before. I’m start falling in love with you minute by minute, day by day….

This is my curly hair make me happy cause it can make you smile and smile and smile… I hope my curly hair always make you falling in love with me day by day.

I really want you always remember about me, about my curly hair, about me and our conversation of course about my curly hair… 😀

I miss the moment when you chat me and can’t be patient waiting my reply. I feel the same wih you. But I guess I’m little unlucky because you are gone. I’m sad but it help me to realize my true feeling for you and about us.

I want to say Thank You.

Again and again… thank you for love my curly hair. Thank you for like me for what I am. Even though you stay away from me day by day… I always grateful know about you.

Yes you are perfect and great person. But I don’t really care about that. I don’t care about your past, about your job, about this and that… for me what are you feeling for me that’s more than important than everything you have.

I don’t know what do you want or what are you looking for before you found me.

Even thought you just want for fun, that doesn’t matter… because my feelings for you is sincere. I’m just hoping you can feel the same.

Really thanks for my curly hair because you like it for the first sight.

Hope the best for you… and I’m sure you always there and never leave me…

And I’m not okay when you are gone and never say hello to me even ignored my message..

“Everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.”

~John Lennon~

Always Proud of you.

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Filosofi Paku dan Pohon Kayu

Suatu masa di hutan yang begitu indah masih asri dan dihiasai warna warni bunga
Kicauan burung dan suara aliran sungai dari kejauhan memberikan ketentraman pada jiwa yang berkelana

Hijau rerumputan seolah dapat menyilaukan mata
Warna warni indah bunga seolah membutakan mata dari keburukan dunia
Wangi bunga melukiskan senyuman bidadari
Hangat sapaan mentari dibalik pepohonan bagai pelukan yang tak tergambarkan
Jernih aliran sungai menampakan keindahan langit dan sekitarnya membawa dalam khayalan bagai negeri dongeng

Seperti apa hutan itu, benarkah hutan atau hanya sebuah taman buatan tangan manusia
Hutan yang seringkali dikunjungi binatang buas tak mungkin seindah untaian kata itu
Hmmmm…. kita lupa
Kita bisa melihat hutan indah itu ketika mata kita terpejam , tenang dan diuntai senyum simpul

Apakah hanya sebatas khayalan?
Iya..
Karena semua bergantung bagaimana isi hatimu dan apa yang memenuhi otakmu

Ada sesuatu yang menarik perhatianku di tengah hutan itu
Sebatang pohon kayu, sekilas tampak biasa saja, tapi ….
Semakin lama, semakin diperhatikan ada sesuatu yang membuat agak bergidik
Banyak bagian yang berlubang dan mulai menghitam..
Mungkin karena cuaca atau hujan atau hanya umurnya yang sudah terlalu tua…
Ketika mata menyelidik dari atas hingga mencapai tanah, aku melihat beberapa paku berkarat dana ada juga yang masih berkilat tampak baru…
Ah… aku jadi menebak-nebak sendiri
Kenapa di tempat seperti ini tiba- tiba ada bertebaran paku di dekat batang pohon ini?

Aku melewatkan sesuatu…
Itu, ada satu paku yang masih tertancap di batang pohon kayu
Tampak masih baru… hmmm
Menyedihkan pohon kayu ini, tak berdaya dan hanya diam
Apa bisa lubang – lubang bekas paku itu ditutupi dengan jaringan baru?
Rasanya tidak mungkin ya… pohon kayu ini pun tampak sudah mati dan hanya sebatas sebatang kayu yang tua dan usang

Seperti ucapan yang keluar dari mulut kita yang tak pernah bisa kembali

Ucapan adalah bibit yang jika sudah jatuh di hati akan menjadi sesuatu di masa depan

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