I'm Your Sunshine

Everything in Life

Philosophy of Spruce Tree

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Holla… 😀

Do you know spruce trees?

Maybe sometimes we called it pine or fir tree.
For me it have the same thing.

It’s a Christmas tree.. yaa… commonly
I love Christmas because I can see the beautiful Christmas tree..that’s spruce tree.

We can see these trees in every season

It exist in summer and also in winter…
and the special thing is.

They always green

Can we be like this tree?

Struggle in every season in our life.
in a cold, hot, winter, storm, intenseness, overflow..

Still beautiful in every condition.

When we in under pressure
Failed
Broken heart
Feel useless
Poorness
Lose everything in our life

Can we stay still stand on?

Spread the freshness of the green we have.
Spread the love in our heart

Can we?

Life be like one Spruce Tree.

Stay refreshing and give beauty and even happiness for around even when we’re not in good condition and everything around us is a mess.

We must try to be like spruce tree.

Yes.. We must…

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Save The Best for The Last

My Dearest,

I want say this…
I’m afraid this will disturb you
then you are gone.

Please don’t ignore me.
I’m just trying to be honest about what I feel, before it’s too late.

I’m to much talking and writing.
I’m too excited when chating with you
but I want to be a good listener for you too.

Maybe you will say I’m crazy
and you think I’m not logic
but I don’t like to much drama.

Love is not logical thing.
Love doesn’t need a reason and explain why.

I like you and falling for you
yeah… before we met face to face

but

Maybe you think it’s not possible thing,
like or love someone who I never met before.
Separated by a long long distance.

Sorry, you’re totally wrong.

I always think and told about you to God
and I said your name
day by day on my pray.

I also pray that I will be prepared and propered to always be by your side.

We have been met.
Yes… in my pray and on my wishlist to God.
Day and night…
so we’re very close in prayer.

I want to be your bestfriend.
No, I want more than bestfriend.
I really want to be your future
and your home…

Like my wish, you’re become my future and my home.

I hope you feel the same
but
I don’t want force you.

Let’s enjoy the process

and if you don’t feel the same
not even interested at all,
or you decided to be with someone else..

that’s maybe hurt me… but it’s okay.
I can handle it
and I hope you can be my bestfriend.

I just want you to know about my feelings,
and try to be honest with my own feelings.

If you have the same feeling for me….
and start having deeper feelings for me.
Let me know because I’m waiting for that.

Praise The Lord. Thanks to God!

Let’s move step by step
cause you always exist on my pray to God.

Please, Save The Best for The Last.

It’s you, my dear….

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Mind Trick

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Hello world,

When you get some reason to be happy that’s good
But if you can’t found any reason you can deceive yourself
Let’s call it mind trick
When you get some trouble and get stressed talk with yourself,

“it’s amazing”

“something better will come”

“my life is great”

“I’m always happy”

It can make you survived even you don’t have anyone
Even people just come only when they are need your help or your support
When you are stay on the bottom place, they always gone and disappeared

Hey My Dear…

This is reality, don’t dream too much even you have to be good dreamer *like me 😀
Please be kind with yourself, you can handle everything with a good vibe.
Why I said about good vibe? Yes, something inside you can make a good vibe.

Just smile

Maybe they disappeared but they never forget about you.
Forever.

Think about the better things, keep positive, be genuine, sincere with other even they only want to use you for their own sake.

You must realize that you are a good person. You must respect them although they don’t do the same. Just always be a good person and always spread the love.

This is mind tricking, although the worst happen in to your life you have to do and say with yourself directly about the best things.

Maybe some people said it’s not good because we are deceiving ourselves, but it’s better when we can thinking only the best things in our life.

Everything is going to be alright when we can mind tricking our self with the good and positive.

But, very possible everything going to be worst if don’t do mind tricking like what I said.

Everything depends on situation and opinion.

“Everything happen not forever. We can count the time when something bad or good happen in our life. So, be happy and be positive. Look in to the mirror and smile to yourself.”

With Love,

Special for You

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Maturity is Not About Number, It’s About Perspective

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When you put your photo on your Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and all of your social media account maybe some people said about how is your look…

Ever you hear about this ?

“Is that you on the picture? You look younger than your age! That’s awesome!”

Or

“How can you look younger than your age? That’s a gift for you”

And many other…

Yes… everyone have own standart about maturity. Perspective about how the people is mature or not.

Have you ever met someone looks childish when he/ she was 73 years old?

That’s not imagine. That’s possible thing happen in this world.

You can said someone who can walking alone in the dark is have good maturity. But someone else can said that’s because he/ she just walking around in him/ her neighborhood , that’s not maturity but habit.

The question is how we can be mature and have good maturity in right perspective?

You can be mature when you can smile at your big big problem you had in the past..

You feel mature when someone can touch your soul and you can do the same so you can share your passion.

Let’s say you are mature because you can make someone else growth up and be mature in the right perspective.

It’s difficult thing to explain how can mature if you don’t feel mature enough. Maybe, it’s just oir perseption if we feel not mature enough.

When we can dicided what is good or better for ourlife and we made right decision about some thing. Sometimes it made we feel more mature than we think before.

Mature it’s not about how is your face or look in front of the other.

I guess it’s about your knowledge, attitude, inner beauty, mindset, emphaty, ability and many others.

It’s about stability between body and soul. Harmony between passion and ability.

When you can meet someone made you honest about who you are. Maybe it can made you more mature. Because every change starting from openness and honesty.

Be honest to yourself. It can help you to be mature than before. Just be yourself, love yourself and accept yourself.

You should finding someone who can your trust and trust you to.

Mature it’s about share together not just about take and give.

How do you think?

Are you mature enough or try to be mature than before?

What is mature in your perspective and perseption?

Share it maybe you can help other people who want to be mature.

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Yes I Am or Was??

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Hi.. Hello..!!!
It’s wonderful sky for tonight, ya.. I guess
Nice to know about all of you..
And this is the best experience to write some thing here… about me
about my past… my experience … about bla.. bla.. bla…
First thing, Let me introduce myself ..
With pleasure…. here I am and I was…

I’m not a little girl anymore.. I think I’m woman for now or anything else except baby or a man because my gender is female.. LOL
I’m 29th years old
I’m from Indonesia.. and a lot of people didn’t know about my country but nope
I’m single happy because I’m not married, hmmm… not yet 😀
and God have Someone to be my future husband..
It’s all about me and my past experience..
The story begun… when I know what is Sex, Love and Dating…
I live far away from my parents, from my family.. well maybe I’m alone and I met a guy to filled my loneliness… and you know how the story is… I lost my virginity
I was made such a fool stuff…
I still remember what I did in my small room…
I was hurt and frustrated.. I felt messy, dirty, impure..
Yeaa… something like that..

I always take something to cut or scratch or hit my body.. the most like is my hands
I can felt the name of peace and relax…
I can hit a wall , cut my hair myself
I always did something like that when I’m angry or sad..
I like red and I like blood… when scratch my hand, I just need a few minute to be calm
That was amazing.. but now, that make me thinking out loud and say “WHY ?”
Maybe anyone can say that I was crazy.. haha
maybe but someday I know something about this
Self Injury Disorder, Self Harm , Self Abuse or anything else…
Yes oh no… OMG I had a mental illness…

If someone make me angry, sad, frustrated… till know I always want to doing something like that again.. again… and again…

I try to stop it.
My parents, my family … they don’t know anything about this
But when someone or guy like me and I like him, I always tell him all about my past and my habit…
but anyone can not help me… just me
When some article said , someone who loves you and always support you, you can healed.. hmmm.. I don’t think so..
I guess there is no man who can stand with my illness…
Because it is just make they hurt to when they know about my habit when despondent,enraged or frustrated or very hurt…

But know I against my illness alone… haha
I tried to fight with myself..
Everyone … all of you.. you have to do this too..
Stand alone with your own shoes..
Struggle…
Yes I Was…
Yes I Am…
Yes I Have A Self Injury Disorder Disease…
And know everyone who read my blog know about my disease…
I hope this is good for a lot of people…

With Love…
Keep Struggle!!!

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